Parenting is one of the most rewarding yet challenging journey. As parents, we strive to provide the best for our children—not just materially, but emotionally and mentally. One of the most impactful ways we can support our children is by fostering positive motivation, mastering effective communication, and recognizing their efforts. Dr. Jil Shah offers you practical tips to strengthen your bond with your child while equipping them with confidence and resilience.
Understanding Positive Motivation
Positive motivation is the driving force that encourages children to engage in productive behaviors, achieve their goals, and maintain a hopeful attitude toward challenges. It is built through encouragement, positive reinforcement, and creating an environment where children feel safe and supported. Motivation stems not only from rewards but also from the belief that effort and perseverance can lead to success.
Why Positive Motivation Matters
- Builds Self-Esteem: Children who receive encouragement develop a stronger sense of self-worth. They begin to believe in their abilities, which fosters confidence to tackle challenges.
- Encourages Autonomy: Motivation helps children take ownership of their tasks and goals, making them less reliant on external prompts.
- Promotes Resilience: When children are motivated, they’re more likely to persevere through setbacks, viewing failures as stepping stones rather than roadblocks.
How to Foster Positive Motivation
- In front of your child, talk about their little positive behaviors to your spouse instead of complaints.
- Celebrate Effort, Not Just Results: Acknowledge the hard work, dedication, and learning process rather than focusing solely on outcomes.
- Model Optimism: Children learn by observing. Displaying a positive attitude toward challenges teaches them to approach problems with a solution-oriented mindset.
The Art of Communication During Distress
Children, like adults, experience a range of emotions, and distress is an inevitable part of their growth. The way parents communicate during such times can either soothe or exacerbate their feelings.
Effective communication strengthens trust between parents and children. When children feel heard and understood, they’re more likely to share their thoughts and emotions, fostering a stronger emotional bond.
Strategies for Talking to Kids in Distress
- Listen Actively: Give your full attention to your child. Maintain eye contact, nod in acknowledgment, and avoid interrupting. This reassures them that their feelings are valid and important.
- Validate Their Emotions: Avoid dismissing or minimizing their feelings. Statements like, “I understand this is hard for you” or “It’s okay to feel upset” show empathy.
- Ask Open-Ended Questions: Instead of asking, “Are you sad?” ask, “Can you tell me what’s bothering you?”This encourages them to express themselves more fully.
- Stay Calm: Your tone and demeanor set the emotional tone of the conversation. A calm and patient approach helps children feel secure.
- Offer Solutions Together: Encourage them to think of solutions. For instance, “What do you think we could do to make this better?” This empowers them to problem-solve.
The Power of Praise
Praise is a simple yet transformative tool in parenting. Genuine, well-timed praise can reinforce positive behaviors, boost confidence, and strengthen the parent-child relationship.
Why Praising Kids is Beneficial
- Builds Confidence: When children hear affirmations, they start to believe in their abilities, which enhances their self-esteem.
- Encourages Repetition of Positive Behaviors: Praise reinforces behaviors you want to see repeated, like kindness, effort, or perseverance.
- Fosters a Growth Mindset: Praising effort over innate talent teaches children that abilities can be developed through hard work.
How to Praise Effectively
- Be Specific: Instead of saying, “Good job!” say, “I’m proud of how much effort you put into your homework today.” This highlights the specific action that earned the praise.
- Focus on Effort and Process: Compliment perseverance, strategy, or improvement. For example, “I love how you kept trying even when the puzzle was tricky.”
- Balance Praise and Constructive Feedback: While praise is vital, it’s also important to provide constructive feedback when necessary. Ensure feedback is framed positively, emphasizing learning and growth.
Supporting Parents: The Foundation of Positive Parenting
While much of parenting advice focuses on children, it’s equally crucial to acknowledge the well-being of parents. Parenting is demanding, and to give your best to your child, you need to be emotionally and mentally nurtured.
Practices for Parental Support
- Self-Care: Dedicate time to recharge. Whether it’s a hobby, exercise, or quiet reflection, taking care of yourself enables you to parent more effectively.
- Seek Community Support: Share your experiences with other parents. Parenting groups or discussions can provide validation, and new ideas.
- If still getting confused and helpless- AROHA hospital is always at your service to help you navigate the struggles while enjoying the journey of parenthood.
The Ripple Effect of Positive Parenting
When parents adopt positive motivation, empathetic communication, and effective praise, they create a nurturing environment that extends beyond the household. Children raised with these principles are more likely to:
- Develop healthy self-esteem and emotional intelligence.
- Approach challenges with resilience and creativity.
- Build strong relationships rooted in respect and understanding.
Moreover, positive parenting influences the broader community. Children who grow up feeling valued and motivated often become compassionate, proactive members of society.
Dr Jil Shah is a Paediatric doctor practising at Aroha Hospital , Naranpura, Ahmedabad. She specialises as parenting coach and child psychology. You can access her PodTalk on the link below. https://youtu.be/i4wcjiK8ZHA?si=wGrQV50APs2twFLu Alternatively you can also reach out to her on the contact number ( + 91 8238037160 ).
