Yes, preschoolers absolutely experience stress! While it might seem surprising because they don’t face adult responsibilities, their world is full of challenges that can feel overwhelming. For a preschooler, stress is often about navigating new experiences, developing independence, and managing big emotions they don’t yet understand or know how to express.
As a Pediatrician and Parenting Coach, Dr. Jil Shah has been addressing concerns by the parents and helping them understand and manage their little ones' big emotions.
Signs of Stress in Preschoolers
Stress in preschoolers can sometimes be mistaken for regular mood swings, but here are some signs to watch for:
Behavioral Changes
- Example: A usually outgoing child suddenly becomes clingy, refusing to play with others or attend school.
- Why it happens: They may be worried about separation or a new environment.
Sleep Issues
- Example: Your child, who normally sleeps well, starts waking up at night due to nightmares or struggles to fall asleep.
- Why it happens: Stress can make them feel unsafe, even in their dreams.
Physical Complaints
- Example: Complaining of tummy aches or headaches before school or playdates.
- Why it happens: Children can express emotional discomfort through physical symptoms.
Regression
- Example: A preschooler who was toilet-trained starts wetting the bed again.
- Why it happens: Stress can disrupt their sense of control.
Mood Swings
- Example: Your calm child suddenly has frequent tantrums or meltdowns over small things.
- Why it happens: They may feel overwhelmed and lack the words to explain their feelings.
Common Causes of Stress in Preschoolers
- Changes in Routine: Starting school, moving houses, or a new sibling can feel overwhelming.
- Example: “Why can’t I stay home with mommy anymore?”
- Parental Stress: Children often pick up on and mirror the stress of their caregivers.
- Example: If parents argue about finances, kids may become anxious without knowing why.
- Fear of the Unknown: Monsters under the bed, loud thunderstorms, or meeting new people can feel frightening.
- Over-Scheduling: Too many activities without downtime can overwhelm their little minds.
Handling Stress in Preschoolers
Talk and Listen
- Example: If they say, “I don’t want to go to school,” respond with, “Can you tell me what you feel when you think about school?”
- Why it works: It helps them feel heard and validated.
Create a Safe Space
- Example: Set up a “calm corner” with their favorite books, stuffed toys, and soft blankets.
- Why it works: It gives them a physical place to decompress.
Maintain Predictability
- Example: Stick to a morning and bedtime routine, even during holidays.
- Why it works: Routine makes them feel secure.
Teach Simple Relaxation Techniques
- Example: Guide them to take deep breaths like “smelling a flower and blowing out a candle.”
- Why it works: It’s a fun, easy way to reduce anxiety.
Preventing Stress in Preschoolers
Quality Time Together
- Example: Have “pajama picnics” or storytelling sessions before bed.
- Why it works: It builds trust and strengthens your bond.
Encourage Playtime
- Example: Let them play freely with blocks or in the park without interference.
- Why it works: Play helps them process emotions and develop coping skills.
Set Realistic Expectations
- Example: Avoid saying, “You must win the race,” and instead encourage, “Let’s have fun running!”
- Why it works: It reduces pressure and focuses on joy.
Monitor Your Stress
- Example: If you’re juggling deadlines, explain in simple terms: “Mommy is busy today, but we’ll play together after dinner.”
- Why it works: It shows them you’re in control of your stress, too.
Real-Life Parenting Tip: “Big Feelings Basket”
Whenever your child feels upset, offer them a “Big Feelings Basket” filled with crayons, paper, squishy toys, and their favorite snacks. Encourage them to draw, squeeze, or even just hug their favorite teddy to let out their emotions.
Remember, stress in kids isn’t always bad—it helps them learn resilience when guided with love and patience. Let them know you’re their safe harbor, always.
